Here's why you feel like you're wasting money when you spend on yourself
Are you really good at giving everyone presents?
You could spend your last $100 on your friend
But you could never do the same for yourself
That's because you're reliving childhood patterns
Where you had to fix everyone's broken heart, while yours was shattered to pieces
You had to grow up quick to manage your parent’s emotions
You learned to be the fixer
You know what it feels like to be unloved or forgotten
So you give, hoping it will heal the wound
But it doesn't
It just makes it worse
You often choke back tears when you watch someone being loved
You wonder what it feels like to receive, without having to ask
Most importantly, you want to receive without feeling like you'll owe them
That's because as a child you were often reminded of all the things your parents did for you
You were guilt tripped about the food you ate & the clothes on your back
Memories of “I put a roof over your head….I gave you everything” often plague your mind
And that's why when someone buys you a present, you instantly check them in your mind as someone you owe
You don't ever want to be guilt tripped again
So you make sure you're always there for them, drop everything for them because you want them to know you're paying them back & that you're a good friend
The key theme here is going above & beyond, because someone did something nice for you
It's been a long time since you knew what that felt like
So you push out the shame by overgiving
Instead of buying that necklace for yourself, you think of loved ones
You feel guilty spending on yourself
I want to remind you, that you're worthy & deserving of the love you give
It's not your fault
But when you heal the wound you'll fall in love with receiving
You'll be in your feminine energy, that your loved ones will want to help you
It will come naturally to you
You'll find support wherever you go
You'll let go of control & trust others
And you'll find friends who adore you & want to shower you with love.
Feminine energy is all about receiving
You were born to receive all things love & abundance
It's your God-given right
So when you overgive from a place of shame
There's something going on in your subconscious mind
You're playing the identity of the little girl who never felt good enough
When you're given presents you revert back to that identity & all those beliefs & memories come up
Of being guilt-tripped for asking
So you hold shame in your body to remind yourself to give back
So they don't hold it against you
But this is that masculine shield that's trying to protect you from more disappointment
Remember you're meant to receive love & support
It's your God given right.
