Femininity has nothing to do with aesthetics or performing to get a man

Can I be frank with you?

I'm getting tired of seeing feminine energy coaches talk about “how to be feminine to get a man”

While I understand I may sound like a hypocrite (because I have a husband & mention how being feminine has helped our marriage)

But I do not condone centering men in your life 

Meaning, doing your skincare, makeup, the way you dress, the way you talk for a man

Let me take this deeper

I'm feminine & masculine

I embody both energies

In fact some days I'm quite masculine with my husband

My husband loves that I'm ambitious, focused, disciplined & can defend myself

It never turns him off

What a lot of people are missing is that feminine energy is more than just looking good, performing or being rooted in the male's perspective 

It's about healing your wounds, unlearning the programs that say you have to be a perfect good girl to get far in life 

And taking back your power to authentically align with who God designed you to be

That's feminine energy

When you can wake up, not caring about what happened yesterday or 10 years ago

And embody that powerful version of you

That's feminine

Because with that version comes the love, money, success, happiness, health, faith, fulfillment & peace… husband, kids (if that's what you want)

The result of being in your feminine,  is aligning with what you want 

When I healed wounds in 8 areas of my life, I no longer felt unworthy for being a divorced single mother

I was focused on being that woman who had it all…

When I had that itch to get married (you know that desperate feeling to just be with anyone), I satisfied it by constantly being in the state of happily married before I actually got married

And when I met my husband, I wasn't coming from this performative energy trying to be “wife-able”

I already felt like a wife, with standards & high self esteem

In fact when my husband asked about marriage, I straight up declined & said “I want to enjoy being single”

And that turned on his masculine energy to prove to me that he was worthy of my peace (I didn't realize I was doing this at the time, I was genuinely so in love with life he had to match that energy)

My response was highly feminine. It was me being me

Honest. Blunt. Authentic. No fluff. Zero performing

Because in that moment I felt good about myself 

I'm at my most feminine when I feel comfortable being myself

Some days that looks like in my PJs with a bonnet on. I still feel good

Or laying in bed resting, doing nothing. I don't feel guilty or unproductive

Or writing potent content like this, because I know you need to hear it

Or cuddled up to my husband asking if he loves me, for the hundredth time

Feminine energy isn't about materialism, further perpetuating capitalism or male dominance

It's about being yourself so you rest, receive & create to access your higher self

You'll never access your true feminine energy, trying to perform for a man or be like another woman

Because you need to conserve your energy so you can inspire others around you

That's feminine energy

Before marrying my husband I was making money, had my own place, my kids in private school, had my own whip

I was creating & inspiring others 

But, after doing the healing work getting married felt good for me

If I never got married, I would still feel good about me

What I want you to take away from this post, is that regardless of your status in life - single, married, divorced, widowed, single mama, engaged

Your femininity does not lie with a man or a certain look

It lies within you

It's your responsibility to unearth your power by healing your traumas & unlearning every single program that taught you, that your value is how you can keep a man, attract or man or look like a Barbie Doll

Gurl you ain't no grown man’s mother

You're not here to seduce a man to fall in love with you

You're here to figure out, just how far you can go within to unearth your power

And with that comes all the good stuff that you're praying for

P.s all these women you're seeing looking perfect, just know it comes with a lot of stress & never fully being yourself

I've been around women who can't mess up their makeup, make sure their hair is on point

They are constantly stressed

That isn't to say look like you live in a trash can

Making an effort about your appearance because it makes you feel good

And doing it because you have to..are two totally different things.